Give it up...................

So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you. Romans 12:1

As I was growing up it was very much the thing in my circle of friends to give up chocolate for Lent. This year I've been amused to see how much technology has moved us on, as many people I know have given up Facebook for 40 days! But they are not alone ""The popular social networking site Facebook may see a drop in activity from some of its 175 million users over the next month. That's because more and more users are giving up their so-called addiction to the website for Lent."HUNTINGTON, W.Va.

If I'm honest I've always struggled with Lent and the 'giving up' thing because it can sometimes feel I'm being pressured into something that's either superstitious, or a mark of 'look how spiritual I am that I'm publicly sacrificing......'
Maybe I'm just cynical and slightly envious - as I do genuinely respect those who can give up something like Facebook or chocolate and deepen their fellowship with God as a result but the problem is I know myself too well........ I know myself well enough to predict that I will be drawn into false smugness if I succeed, or feeling a failure if I give in to a bar of Green & Blacks!

Having said all that I do totally subscribe to the notion of Lent being a time to look hard at the things that dilute my passion and drag me away from my Maker. It's an obvious period to find new ways of responding to the life changing love of God in humility and repentance. So over the years I've searched for other ways of making a conscious response to Lent and have found great freedom in 'taking up' or 're-finding' rather than 'giving up'. By which I mean making an intentional effort to adopt new habits, recommit to ones neglected, walk a new way or simply think differently for 40 days.

So if our genuine passion this Lent is to deepen our individual walk with our Maker, then it will look different for each one of us. Who are we (who am I) to judge who has got it 'right' - infact there isn't a 'right to be got' - if we are honestly seeking to be closer to God this month it doesn't really matter whether we give up, take up, fill up or shut up......................

Shut up & Drive........

One of the many great things about my job is that I get to drive a lot of different cars - if I'm driving a long way I hire a car, and so far I've had a different one every time! In the last few weeks I've driven a Corsa, a Megane and two different Fiestas. Today I was zipping around in a very sporty black Fiesta 1.6 Turbo, which only had 45 miles in the clock when I picked it up - it has several hundred more on it now.......................

I've never really been interested in cars, but it's funny how you very quickly learn what's important to you - how to get the petrol cap open, where the lights turn on, and where to plug the sat nav in being three things that I know know to be vital pieces of information to me!
I've also started to notice all kinds of differences between makes and styles of cars, and have definitely got more opinions about what 'bells and whistles' I prefer!

Having moved into a new area, I've also been looking for a Church community to settle into, and it's interesting how this too has been a process of working out what is vital to me and what is just 'bells & whistles' in church life. In discovering just how picky I can be about what I prefer I've had to face the fact that many of my preferences are based around finding a church that I'm 'comfortable' in. It's been a humbling process to ask God where he wants me to be, and then have to wrestle with a frankly unwelcome impression that God wants me in a particular church that is far from 'comfortable' for me.......................

Why seek a 'comfortable' Church though? Since when do I want a 'comfortable' life? By rejecting the 'uncomfortable', surely what I'm doing is trying to close the door on things about church that challenge me and so waste an opportunity to grow, learn and understand more about what it means to worship God with my heart, soul and mind..............

"Drinking four cups of coffee a day reduces the risk of colorectal cancer by 24%. Coffee has more antioxidant activity than red wine, green or black tea, or orange juice. Simply smelling the aroma of coffee (which contains about 300 antioxidants) gives you the same health benefit as eating 3 oranges......... disciples of Jesus are protected by the 'coffee verse' (Mark 16:18): if you live in the spirit you will be able to drink deadly poison and no harm will come to you"
Leonard Sweet: Soul Salsa

Quality not Quantity?

I have never met a Christian yet who is happy with how much 'time they spend with God'.......

In itself an oxymoron - God being everywhere and therefore a constant presence!

"Is there any place I can go to avoid your Spirit?
To be out of your sight? If I climb to the sky, you're there!
If I go underground, you're there!
If I flew on morning's wings to the far western horizon,
You'd find me in a minute— you're already there waiting"
Psalm 139

But I do fight the same battle - wanting to be intentionally 1:1 with my maker, and yet constantly disappointed in my ability to be distracted, disrupted and just plain forgetful..........
Having been raised in the principle of 'daily quiet time' as mark of spiritual maturity it's interesting to continue to explore what it might mean to take seriously the notion that God is delighted by the quality of my time and desire, rather than the frequency or 'box ticking' exercise to alleged maturity.

Maybe it's about resisting the temptation join the rich young ruler in trying to find ways of 'doing something to get eternal life' (Mark 10/ Matthew 19).
He had worked so hard to do everything right, including keeping all the commandments - clearly a better person than I'll ever be!
And yet it still wasn't enough - even he knew he was still lacking - what more could he 'do'?

The answer of course is that there is nothing we can 'do' - no matter how many quiet times we have, if we think that will usher us into eternal life we are going to be very disappointed..........

So what does God require of us?

"How can I stand up before God and show proper respect to the high God?
Should I bring an armload of offerings topped off with yearling calves?
Would God be impressed with thousands of rams, with buckets and barrels of olive oil?
Would he be moved if I sacrificed my firstborn child, my precious baby, to cancel my sin?

But he's already made it plain how to live, what to do, what God is looking for in men and women.
It's quite simple: Do what is fair and just to your neighbour, be compassionate and loyal in your love,
And don't take yourself too seriously— take God seriously."

Micah 6:7-8

Two................

Great quotes that have sat with me this week for very different reasons.................

"Let me bring you up to speed
We know nothing.
You are up to speed.............................."

Pink Panther 2

"I write because I'm afraid to say some things out loud................"

Real Live Preacher, Real Live Preacher weblog, 03-13-05

Sometimes we feel like we know nothing - sometimes we're scared by what we believe God is saying and so we say nothing. Sometimes we start by thinking we know nothing, but discover what we know as we speak. Sometimes we need to speak, and sometimes we should stay silent whatever we think we know. Sometimes we speak a load of nonsense..........

"Start with God—the first step in learning is bowing down to God;
only fools thumb their noses at such wisdom and learning. " Proverbs 1:7

Let a thousand flowers bloom..........

I saw this yesterday............

It's probably one of the most moving pieces I've ever seen but as with most 3D art, any attempt to reproduce it as a photographic image lets it down.........

A huge painting of Mao is almost obscured by a proliferation of dried roses on stems with huge thorns.............
I find modern art, faith and life itself an exhilarating challenge - some things I inherently 'get' and others leave me puzzled. Some things I understand and others remain a mystery. Sometimes it matters - and sometimes it doesn't.......

If you want to know more about the piece you can find its story here http://www.tate.org.uk/magazine/issue1/newacquisition.htm

Sunshine Yellow and Fiery Red...........

This weekend I've laughed at myself.......... a lot!

I spent Saturday at a leadership day called 'Discovery' which majored on understanding myself and others better. I've always loved stuff like Myers Briggs, but this was by far the best (and funniest) model I've taken part in. I discovered that I have 'sunshine yellow' and 'fiery red' energy which means that among other things, on a good day I'm, 'uplifting, spirited, radiant, determined, friendly, complex, buoyant, affirmative, enthusiastic, sociable, dynamic, bold, assertive and always in motion', but on a bad day I'm 'driving, controlling, too excitable, frantic, hasty and intolerant'!
Even the fact that I have an untidy desk most of the time and need to 'see' things to remember them came out in the personality attributes - If you know me you'll see why I laughed a lot! One of the best things about the day was remembering that many of the things that drive me mad about myself are actually expressions of who I am rather than 'failings' - and the very fact that I see all the things I'd like to change so clearly, is actually a result of my personality driven need to move forward............

I learned (and remembered) a lot, and got a few surprises along the way. At one level it would be easy to see this kind of personality modelling as a license to settle for less, and use the findings to dismiss our failings as just things we can't do anything about because the God who created us isn't surprised - either by our strengths or by our weaknesses.
He delights in our complexity, personality foibles and the things that make us intrinsically who we are - He sees us as a precious child, not just a long list of 'things that need to change'. Rather than giving me an excuse to settle for less however this becomes the very inspiation to seek for more .......

"You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body;
You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
The days of my life all prepared before I'd even lived one day" Psalm 39

God alone enables me to delight in who I really am, facing both my strengths and weaknesses. He always believes in me, forgives me my failings and is truly the reason I live.

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Kerplunk..........

Have you ever played kerplunk? Sliding the sticks into the brightly coloured tube then carefully piling the marbles on top being careful not to disturb them lest they fall to the ground - nail-biting tension................

I have too many 'marbles' in my life that I never want to see again. To try & prevent them falling I create a labyrinth of sticks to hold the marbles safe and at bay. Beneath the sticks, life looks straightforward and simple, but look through and above the labyrinth and things become complex and so messy!
Despite my best efforts though, just occasionally, and usually without warning something pulls at one of my sticks and the carefully hidden marbles begins to fall.........

Although it's not a comfortable process, I know deep down that they all need to fall. I should have no fear of this, because I know they don't fall into some garish plastic tray, but into the outstretched hands of my father God. He pulls the sticks because he knows me, loves me, holds me safe and is my rock in this complex messy experience that is life...............

"me he caught—reached all the way from sky to sea; he pulled me out 0f that ocean of hate, that enemy chaos, the void in which I was drowning.
They hit me when I was down, but God stuck by me. He stood me up on a wide-open field;
I stood there saved—surprised to be loved!

God made my life complete when I placed all the pieces before him.
When I got my act together, he gave me a fresh start. Now I'm alert to God's ways;
I don't take God for granted. Every day I review the ways he works; I try not to miss a trick.
I feel put back together, and I'm watching my step.
God rewrote the text of my life when I opened the book of my heart to his eyes.

Psalm 18:16-24 The Message

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"I've put my life in your hands, you won't drop me, you'll never let me down....... I hate all this silly religion, but you God I trust" Psalm 31: 3 & 5 The Message

I cut a couple of my fingers yesterday with an umbrella (don't ask...). It hurts! Today everything I've tried to do hurts or has opened up the cuts again. To be honest I'd have been quite happy to have spent the day with my hands in my pockets!

We all carry wounds with us; some old and healing, others fresh and raw. Things kick us in these wounds and knock the tops off our scabs. Sometimes we take two steps forward in healing, only to take a giant leap back into pain and confusion. Sometimes all we want to do is protect ourselves and hide from anything that might hurt us again.

But sometimes healing only comes through exercising the painful muscle or joint - those who have had a hip replacement are encouraged onto their feet very soon after their operation even though it hurts - because healing will come faster through facing the pain - and laying immobile may actually cause more harm. Sometimes we need to be brave and risk things that hurt - risk those steps forward and back - possibly even falling over in order to heal.......

I know this - I carry 'trust' hurts because of big things that have happened to and around me over the last few years. I also know that my wounds are fragile and my scars are easily knocked off. Every time this happens I face a daily battle to trust people again and not give in to that temptation to protect myself by putting my hands in those preverbial pockets........ I know that to give in to this temptation will damage me and my relationships with others and my God - so I battle on - offering my trust as a gift, and cherishing the trust of others - as who knows what unseen wounds they themselves carry.............

"To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved" George MacDonald

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Today I choose to follow you.
Today I choose to give my 'yes' to you.
Today I choose to hear your voice and live.....

We sang this today and I was struck by how often I wander into the day, and then ask God to be part of what I'm up to once I have started, or simply take for granted the fact that I'll encounter him in the day - rather than my first thought being a choice to follow and give my 'yes'..............

As we were singing I put my hand on the back of the chair in front of me and could feel the vibration of the song through the back of the chair. Such a simple thing, and yet it was almost as if I could feel the worship physically resonating through me.

If only my life were more like this - a vibrating shiver of anticipation that others cannot help but feel when we encounter each other - maybe with more 'choosing' and many more moments of 'yes' so they will..........

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Never Dull!

I have just had a very unusual 36 hours........... Had a really good day in Ivybridge near Plymouth yesterday, took 2 1/2 hours to get there (nothing unusual so far).......... left a meeting at at 9:45pm to come home & it was raining in Plymouth...........

45 mins later on a stretch of the A38 I now know as 'Haldon Hill', it was like someone was chucking bucket loads of snow at my car - you may have seen the reports on the tv news today - I was there!
I discovered just how very scary it is to have your mobile battery running out, not to be able to see where the road ends and the ditch starts, and to realise that no-one knows where you are - I felt very alone and was grateful that for most of the night I could see the red tail lights of other travellers ahead of me.............
It was a long time until 3am when the Police & Mountain Rescue (my new best friends) came to dig us out and take us all to the rescue centre where we remained until noon today - it took me 18 hours to get home!

On the way back I saw some of the most amazing 'snow scenes' I have ever seen......... More beautiful than any Christmas card - the trees, fields and landscapes took my breath away.....
But I also saw jack-knifed lorries, abandoned vehicles, upended cars in ditches, trees that had collapsed into the road because of the sheer weight of the snow and cars and vans that had crashed into each other......

What a paradox - the same thing that took my breath away with it's beauty also caused my fear in the night, disruption, distress and serious damage.

How often I am caught in that same paradox - that which I fear the most has such potential to bring beauty, depth and passion - and that which captivates and delights has potential for harm.......

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"Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul and with all your might" Deuteronomy 6:5

What would it mean for me to truly live this out every day? It's such an easy thing to think I want, to say that I want - but such a challenge to live out every day. So many other things crowd in and steal my dreams, take my time, and sap my energy - or frankly I waste my precious life by being plain lazy......... I get so frustrated with myself because I know things could be so different!

One of the things I am very good at is making long lists of things that would mean I was living my life more intentionally - things I ought to be 'doing', and 'doing better'. The problem is that these good intentions quickly become a stick to beat myself with rather than an encouragement to persevere.

Maybe though - living with greater intention is less about 'doing', and more about 'being' - being the person I was created to be, living the life I was created for, in the way it was designed to be lived. In one sense that sounds easier, and yet it is so much more challenging because I need to exchange my list that screams 'could do better' for cultivating a passion for my maker, authentic relationships, a submitted soul, and the gritty determination to live every day to it's greatest potential....

Now where's my pen.......

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Another thing about Donald Crowhurst........

In order to radio in his false positions to race officials, Crowhurst kept duplicate log books - one set documented where he really was (miles off course) and the other set recorded where he claimed he was. I was reminded of this over the weekend by Leonard Sweet in his book '11 indispensable relationships you can't be without'....... "the problem with 'accountability' is that it is too easy to keep double books: one book for your accountability team, and another secret book for yourself".

Makes you think..................