Caught in a trap.............

"We can't go on together
with suspicious minds.
And we can't build our dreams
on suspicious minds"

Suspicious Minds
Written by Mark James sung by Elvis Presley

Sometimes I get quite suspicious of God...............
I hope you're not too shocked by that - because actually I think we all do. Although we hear God speak of his amazing love for each one of us in the bible, we often struggle to accept it for ourselves.

Although I know God has provided for me in the past, I too often worry about the future.
I say God is my joy, but too often I struggle to believe he will make me happy in the future - so I look to myself and others to make me happy.
I believe God is the great healer, but sometimes I feel my present hurt is too big - even for him.
I call to him about specific things, and then get suspicious when he answers and provides........

Me: I can't do this.....
God: I know - let me.
Me: Help me.....
God: Yes.
Me: I can't.... will you do it?
God: It's done.
Me: Oh you've done it - but have you really done it? Am I just imagining it? Is there a catch? I should really have done it....

Which is of course all nonsense!
I'm in good company though - an entire generation of Israelites missed their chance in the promised land because of their grumbling and lack of trust. They became suspicious towards God and the end result was more wandering.
Totally trusting God is often a daily decision rather than something that comes 'naturally'. Each day we need to refuse to listen to the thoughts or emotions that cause us to doubt God’s heart of love towards us and instead commit ourselves to resting in his care.

God loves me - he shows me every day how much he loves me. All I have to do is turn again to the crucified, risen Jesus - heaped with my sin, my shame, my mess to regain my sense of perspective. Transformation is done one day at a time - and one battle of trust at a time.

Knowing God proclaims “Not Guilty!” over me and my messy life is the thing that holds my trust together. It's already done, it can't be undone, changed or withdrawn. God won't get tired of me - he knows and understands where, when, how and why my trust wobbles........

So instead of giving in to our suspicious minds, why don't we decide every day to hang on in there - let's just get on with living out the lives of infinite possibility God has prepared for each one of us!